


Male Character Meme

by lornrocks



Category: Alice (2009), Fandom: Heroes, Gamer (2009), Gossip Girl, Primeval, Sherlock Holmes (Downey films), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), The Matrix (Movies), Watchmen (2009)
Genre: Crack, Crack Pairings, F/M, Gen, M/M, Meme, Slash, Weird, because milo said peter is like neo, bishies, haha - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 04:46:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lornrocks/pseuds/lornrocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Featuring Sherlock Holmes, Spock, Hatter, Rick Rape, The Comedian, Agent Smith, Mohinder, Chuck Bass, Connor Temple, Sylar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Male Character Meme

1\. Sherlock Holmes  
2\. Spock  
3\. Hatter  
4\. Rick Rape  
5\. The Comedian  
6\. Agent Smith  
7\. Mohinder  
8\. Chuck Bass  
9\. Connor Temple  
10\. Sylar

**1\. 2 and 5 as BFFs**

It was an unorthodox meeting.

Spock had accidentally bumped into a large man in a black mask and armor.

That man took one look at Spock and said "Why, you have pointy ears."

It was a beautiful friendship after that.

Sure, the two of them are completely different, but to some extent, Edward Blake was a lot like a certain blonde starship captain that Spock had grown rather fond of, and in Jim's absence, Spock had to make do with what he had.

They mostly just talked and vented about all the things that were wrong: Eddie feeling remorse over what he did to poor Sally, Spock wishing he saved his mother. Sometimes they talked about politics. Spock was usually pretty diplomatic, as his job required. Eddie, on the other hand, was definitely more violent about everything, as was his job.

Still, it wasn't meant to last. Spock got called away back to space and his Captain, and how could he refuse? He said his goodbyes and that was it.

**2\. 3 and 7 fighting each other.**

Mohinder wasn't sure how he got to this strange place. First he was just exploring a lead on where he could find Samuel, and the next thing he knows, he's fallen through some mirror. He managed to find his way out of the box that trapped him and was trying to figure out where he was when he runs into this guy with a leather jacket and a straw fedora.

"Who are you?" Mohinder demands.

The guy scoffs.

"Name's Hatter. Who, may I ask, are you?"

Mohinder notes that the man has a similar accent to his own.

"It doesn't matter. Where am I? Where's Samuel?" Mohinder practically growls, steeling himself for a fight. The man narrows his eyes.

"No idea who that is. You work for the Queen, don't you?"

Mohinder shakes his head and lunges forward to shove the other man against a wall.

The other man (Hatter, if you will) swings his right hand into Mohinder's jaw, but Mohinder is quicker. He jumps back and avoids the blow.

Hatter growls and pulls out a gun. He manages to fire a few shots before Mohinder grabs the gun and smashes it against a rock.

"Hey! That was my favorite gun!" Hatter exclaims, and Mohinder just smiles.

"Too bad."

Hatter picks up his hat, which had fallen off, and throws it up. The momentary distraction is all he needs before he manages a right hook into the side of Mohinder's face. He pushes him so he's against a low wall and then punches the Indian man hard in the diaphragm.

Mohinder coughs and shoves Hatter back, hard. He goes flying and slides across the ground. Mohinder stands over him, one foot digging hard into Hatter's chest.

"Now, where am I?" he asks.

**3\. 1 cooking 8 Something he'd like.**

"I'm sorry, Lord Bass, but I don't believe I have any halibut handy. Will you settle for salmon?" Holmes asks, digging through a cupboard.

Charles Bass looks down discreetly at the mess strewn around the detective's apartment. Despite all the clutter, Charles can't complain. After all, this man is the best in the business, and if he wants to find his beloved Miss Waldorf, he'll have to put up with it.

Holmes comes back a few minutes later with some cooked salmon and some old wine.

"I got my landlady to make this. I'd be careful, you never know if she poisoned it or not." At a look from Lord Bass, Holmes adds, "I'm not serious."

They begin eating quietly.

Taking a sip of his wine, Holmes asks, "I suppose you came here for my help in finding your missing fiancee?"

Charles nods.

"I hear you're good. Prove it to me and you'll get paid triple your usual rate."

Holmes pauses as he considers this.

"She must mean an awful lot to you, then."

Charles smiles.

"The world, Mr. Holmes. The world."

**4\. 6 and 10 getting into trouble.**

Sylar was just fighting with that Italian Eagle Scout Peter Petrelli when somehow, they ended up in this strange place. They had no idea where they were.

Sylar took the opportunity to ditch Peter and look around.

He was just walking into a subway when he hears "Hello there, Mr. Gray" behind him.

He turns around.

"Who the hell are you?" he asks.

"You can call me Agent Smith," the sunglasses'd man says. "And you are in the Matrix."

"LIke the movie?" Sylar muses. Charming.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Gray. But I'm sure we can figure something out. You see, Mr. Gray, I think you can help me with something."

"And why should I do that?" Sylar asks, striding to circle the other man.

"Because I can help you get Mr. Petrelli once and for all."

A tempting offer, to be sure.

Sylar thinks for a moment. Most likely, something happened and he's hallucinating. Either way, he gives it a shot.

They end up tracking Peter to some apartment building, and wouldn't you know it? Neo has already found him. They're sitting there, styling their hair and talking about saving the world.

It takes all of Sylar's will power not to punch Peter square in the face for being so ridiculous.

Suddenly both Peter and Neo realize people are behind them and whirl around.

"Woah!" they both exclaim in unison.

"We're here for you, Mr. Anderson," Agent Smith intones, and Sylar stalks forward.

"We're not finished, Peter," he practically purrs, and Peter looks back and forth between Smith and Sylar.

"You're teaming up with him? I thought you were supposed to help me stop Samuel and then we were going to fall in love and make out?" Peter is practically crying.

Sylar's about to respond when they hear a big boom. Turning, they see that Neo and Smith are fighting pretty hardcore. They watch for a moment.

"Let's get out of here," Peter says, and for once, Sylar is inclined to agree.

**5\. 9 in a dress that 8 designed.**

"What the hell am I wearing?" Connor asks, turning to glare at Chuck, who's laughing.

"You said you wanted money for your research project. Think of this as a way to get it."

"By wearing a dress? A really ridiculous dress?" Connor practically shouts.

"Yes, actually."

Connor purses his lips and thinks really hard.

"Alright."

**6\. 7's secret identity, if he had one.**

Mohinder's secret identity is obviously SUPER LIZARD CAB DRIVER!

That's all I got.

**7\. 1 in 4's clothing.**

Holmes carefully undoes the the latch to the door and peeks around.

"Well?" Watson asks. "We haven't got all day."

Holmes shrugs and walks into the middle of his room. He's wearing tight, shiny material, all black, that cradles his ass quite nicely. On his feet are boots.

"What is that?" Watson is flushing red and staring at his friend like he just saw something very obscene. It is quite obscene, actually.

"I'm not sure," Holmes begins, and eyes Watson.

"Do you want to find out?"

The twinkle in his eyes leaves his intentions unmistakable.

**8\. 10 having a fantasy about 3.**

However Mohinder got to Wonderland, Sylar had gotten there too. Something about interdimensional world hopping, it would seem.

He happened to see Hatter's fight with Mohinder. Knowing Mohinder's abilities, Sylar was not surprised he won, but he really did want this Hatter fellow to win. He was actually kind of awesome, really.

Sure he looked a little weird, but he had nice hair and a cute accent and he was just tough.

Sylar could admire that.

Unlike Mohinder, Sylar found his way back home and was quick to get back to his apartment. Crawling under the covers of his bed, he couldn't help thinking about that guy. He knows it's dumb, but if there's one thing Sylar likes, it's a guy who can fight.

Since the usual object of his fantasies, Peter, was sort of emo right now (That's what happens when you kill someone's brother, Sylar supposes), he redirects his energy into more oblivious pursuits.

**4\. picking on/bullying 9.**

Connor liked this video game. It was sort of like The Sims but more interactive. He had stepped into this bar when he notices that some guy with latex pants and a black eye sits next to him.

"What's up?" the guy asks, looking a little jittery. Connor shrugs.

"Not a lot. You?"

The guy, whose id info names him as "Rick Rape", just laughs.

"Trying to find some pussy. I bet I get more than you."

Connor is taken aback. What the fuck is this guy's problem?

"That's nice." He takes a sip of his drink and then tries to walk away.

"I bet no one likes you," Rick Rape adds, and laughs, loud and creepy.

"I'm leaving now," Connor says, and logs off.

He's not fond of those sort of games, anyway.

**10\. 2 and 6 in love.**

"You are logical and you know what is the greater good," Spock says, clasping his hand with the other man's.

"You love machines, and technically, I am a computer program," Agent Smith coos back, and the two lean in to kiss.

Jim and Neo watch from the outskirts.

"What the fuck?" Jim says, feeling angry. Neo just stares slackjawed.

"Woah."

**Author's Note:**

> Written forever ago for LJ.


End file.
